Thank you, no

City budget chief Shelley Carroll said I should run for Mayor (please don’t tell my anarchist friends. If you are my anarchist friends, please don’t… tell me?). For the whole race, Carroll has easily been the favoured candidate among people voting for people not actually running for Mayor. And it’s easy to see why - she is certainly running for Mayor far less than any of the other high-profile candidates, who, sources tell me, are all running for Mayor.

So, in the world of people not running for Mayor, she is something of a kingmaker, and if I’m not reading too much into a 140 character message (which I think we will agree is basically impossible), she has thrown her non-support behind my non-campaign, telling all the people who won’t have an opportunity to vote for her that they should really think of it as an opportunity to not have an opportunity to vote for me instead. And why not? I want the job even less than she does.

I don’t not want the job so little, in fact, that I have decided to step in to the ring and run the only campaign that could ever establish the passionate passivity people aren’t disinclined to imagine demanding of someone who could technically be Mayor if absolutely everyone else died. As Toronto member of the National Abdication Party, my platform will be simple: Once I am elected, I will resign.

Give me your vote: I don’t want it.

The primary object of this scheme was not so much to cause the enemy to miss his shot when actually in firing position, but to mislead him, when the ship was first sighted, as to the correct position to take up.

The site is still in the middle of an overdue overhaul, and will be for a while, I imagine. The front page is serviceable; everything within is horrible. This is a metaphor for something.

What old posts? This is the only post. This has always been the only post.